Cafe Silvestre in Salt Lake City, UT

If you look carefully at the sign for the Cafe Silvestre, you will notice that they feature "Homemade Mexican Food." I, for one, have always taken exception to the phrase "homemade" in reference to a restaurant. "Homemade" should mean that it was made in a home; a home being a place of residence, where people live, bathe, sleep, watch TV, and, when no one is looking, pick their noses.

So seeing this claim plastered so proudly on the giant sign has me wondering, amongst many other things, what in the world is going on at the Cafe Silvestre?

Regardless, it is nice to see the great state of Utah finally making an appearance on the blog, no thanks to you bums. I found this one myself by doing a Google Maps satellite view scan of the country (zoomed out to the state level -- I'm that good).

Avocado Fresh Mexican Grill in Saskatoon, Canada

Look closely. No, closer. Put your greasy nose right up against that work monitor. Do you see it? This is a tricky one.
Maybe in the days before the internet, you could get away with something like this. A few passers by may do a double take, but they would keep riding up the road on their elk to whatever the other restaurant is in Saskatoon (I assume there are two), and maybe make brief mention of how that place they passed "looked like it used to be something else, eh?" Which would be met with the standard Canadian response of, "What are you talking aboot?"
But in 2014, you can't just throw some stained lumber around a signature roof hump and not expect some overly specific blog run by a likable (if not somewhat pudgy) guy with way too much spare time to call you out on your literal facade attempting to hide your history. Nay, the internet has come calling, and it demands the truth. Fess up, Avocado. We all know what you are hiding.Alright, now get your nose off the monitor. Your coworkers are all staring at you.

El Canelo in Erie, PA

According to Jason, the submitter, El Canelo Mexican Restaurant in Erie, PA is frequently in the paper for health code violations. They say that no publicity is bad publicity, which proves that "they" don't read the section of the newspaper that deals with minor problems like "mice" and "feces" in "kitchens."

And, hey, who are we to say that we don't probably have some mice living in our own kitchens? And what are we supposed to do, ask them not to poop everywhere? Especially in the improperly refrigerated meat? I have met some friendly mice in my day, and not one showed any proclivity to use so much as a chamber pot.

So we can sit here in our own unclean kitchens and scoff at El Canelo for its supposed violations, or we can ignore all of that, Like UTBAPH on Facebook and follow @UTBAPH on Twitter. You decide which way you want to go here.

El Tucan Mexican Restaurant in Cincinnati, OH

Despite what the sign says, this place is currently "El Tucan," a Mexican Restaurant in Cincinnati, OH. Submitted by Mike, apparently this place changes names/owners on a frequent basis. At some point, a lot of renovations were done, rending it largely unrecognizable as a former Pizza Hut, but no matter. We are not here to judge. Oh wait, no, that is exactly what we are here to do.But I digress. The important thing here is that El Tucan, (or Plaza, for all of you people still living in last Tuesday) is going strong as a former Pizza Hut. I have seen a few UTBAPHs with the area of skylights before, so I am wondering if those are not part of the original structure. It almost looks like a big shitty Mexican place ate an old Pizza Hut in one bite, and still has a little bit of its meal hanging on its lip.Or something. Come back next week, when this is something else altogether.

Don Jose in Colonial Heights, VA

Another day, another Pizza Hut-turned-Mexican joint. This one, Don Jose in Colonial Heights, VA, submitted by Nikki, got a pretty nice paint job with crazy shit painted in the windows. Or else there is just a volcano in there. Either way, fun!

Of course, all of you culturally aware readers of this blog are familiar with Don Jose, the namesake of this fine place. Don Jose was, obviously, the Corporal of Dragoons (played by Paul Lherie in the original 1875 cast) in the four-act opera by the French composer Georges Bizet. While the critical reception was mixed in the first New York performance at the Metropolitan Opera in 1884, the audience slowly came around and it was soon incorporated into the Met's regular repertory.

Bah I'm just kidding. It was probably named for one of the owner's uncles or something because "El Pollo Loco" was already taken.

Orlando's Mexican Grill in Houston, TX

Sneaky sneaky sneaky Orlando's. Vertical shutters, no more roof-hump. You had me fooled! But your corner window tells me all I need to know about your past life of greasy pizza and suspected drug dealing out of the kitchen.

Don Pollo in Atlanta, GA

This is what America is all about. Come on in, gang. Don Pollo's is open!

Pineda Tacos in Minneapolis, MN

My sources (Google Maps) tell me that this place is no longer standing, or has been renovated beyond recognition, which is good because it is easily the most half-assed attempt yet at converting a Pizza Hut.

F+ for effort. But hey, I bet the tacos were good.