Copycat in California, PA

A copy shop in California, PA called Copycat. Apparently, they also sold pagers at one point. Maybe still. You never know when you are going to need a pager.

Rice Inn in Bethel Park, PA

Bethel Park, a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA, is the home to many great things, including, but not limited to, Rick Sebak, a national championship high school hockey team, and, of course, an UTBAPH.

If you are thinking what I was thinking when I first became aware of this UTBAPH, which is that it is odd to name a restaurant after poison, well, rest assured, there is no actual ricin used in any of the food prepared at the Rice Inn. On the contrary, the food at the Rice Inn is quite delicious.

Given the name, you might think that local news guy (and owner of the best eyebrows this side of the Mississippi) Ken Rice, of the Pittsburgh CBS affiliate KDKA, is an owner of the Rice Inn. But you would be wrong, as usual (although there is a rumor that Condoleezza Rice sits on the board of directors).

Yours truly hanging out with Ken Rice at the Rice Inn

Still, Ken and I met up at the Rice Inn so that he and a cameraman could watch my terribly unruly kids and embarrassed wife try, unsuccessfully, to eat with chopsticks and act like a normal family. Fun times. Hopefully they lost the footage.

Ken proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions about UTBAPHs. Questions like:

• "What is wrong with you?"
• "Aren't there much better things to be doing with your time?"
• "Do your kids get made fun of at school because their daddy is a blogger?"
• "Can you please stop jabbing me in the eyebrows with chopsticks?"

And I like to think that Ken learned a lot that day, not just about UTBAPHs, but also about why you should never try to put a socially inept, introverted blogger on TV.

El Canelo in Erie, PA

According to Jason, the submitter, El Canelo Mexican Restaurant in Erie, PA is frequently in the paper for health code violations. They say that no publicity is bad publicity, which proves that "they" don't read the section of the newspaper that deals with minor problems like "mice" and "feces" in "kitchens."

And, hey, who are we to say that we don't probably have some mice living in our own kitchens? And what are we supposed to do, ask them not to poop everywhere? Especially in the improperly refrigerated meat? I have met some friendly mice in my day, and not one showed any proclivity to use so much as a chamber pot.

So we can sit here in our own unclean kitchens and scoff at El Canelo for its supposed violations, or we can ignore all of that, Like UTBAPH on Facebook and follow @UTBAPH on Twitter. You decide which way you want to go here.

Fat Pocket Pawn in North Versailles, PA

You're in a pinch, and you know it. You found yourself, somehow, in North Versailles (pronounced "ver-sales," yes way) Pennsylvania, and you need some cash, or, perhaps, you need more shit in your house. Either way, goldmine here (literally), as Fat Pocket Pawn will be glad to buy shit from you way below market value and sell other (or hell, even the same) shit to you way above market value. Hey, their pockets didn't get fat on fair market value, buddy. Besides, you are in a pinch. Now don't go in here expecting to see some bald guy and bunch of cameras making a reality show. This is not that sort of pawn shop. There is not anything signed by anyone famous in here. There aren't any historians inside explaining the significance of a pre-Civil War hand-crafted wood-inlayed bureau to anyone. Just some meth heads with stolen power tools. And, one more time, it's VER-SALES. Just in case you thought it sounded like a classy town. Thanks to Ryan for the submission.

Community Family Practice in Duquesne, PA

There is so much to love about this place. A true place of healing and wonderment. A place seriously centered around making you feel better, helping you fine tune your body and keep it running long enough that you can enjoy your life to the fullest. But then, the Pizza Hut closed and some crappy family practice moved in. Sorry about that.I have to point out that, while I understand that this is a doctor's office, there is an inordinate amount of handicapped parking here. God forbid any of us able-bodied-but-lazy people need to get to this place. We have to park in the free lot up at Kennywood and ski lift our fat asses down the hill. (That's an inside joke for you locals.)Our friend Adam submitted this one, and says that he used to Book It! "like crazy" at this Pizza Hut. Book It!, for those who don't recall, was Pizza Hut's way of saying, "Oh, you read a book? Cool. Here is some shitty pizza! Bet you won't read books anymore!"

Cars 2 Credit in Lancaster, PA

So, it turns out that opening a crappy used car lot in a former Pizza Hut may not be the best business plan. I am using the previous posts on this blog as my empirical evidence for this hypothesis.

Loyal reader, Harrisburg native, and commercial real estate agent Amanda (who is now batting .500, for those keeping track) sent this one in in a fit of nostalgia, dreaming about that night in 1993 when she came to this Pizza Hut after her graduation rehearsal (if you don't practice graduating, you might graduate wrong).

There are a lot of landmarks along the Lincoln Highway that are worth noting -- That coffee-pot-shaped building in Bedford. The original location of the Leaning Tower of Pisa before it was moved to Italy (the fact checker has off today). And, of course, not this place, because no one really cares about how you put Whoomp! (There It Is) on the jukebox and then got drunk on cheap vodka and barfed all over the parking lot on that fateful graduation rehearsal evening in 1993.

99 Bottles in Carnegie, PA

Submitted by Hart J., this fine establishment located in beautiful Carnegie, PA serves up some excellent beer and is not the first post-Pizza-Hut establishment to hold this spot. Regardless, the patio is a welcome addition, and if you drink enough craft beer, you are sure to forget that you are even in an old Pizza Hut.

Okini in Harrisburg, PA

Not the first "Pizza Hut-turned-Asian-Restaurant" entry, and certainly not the last.