Ocean Dental in Enid, OK

Just to be sure, I checked Google Maps. A scholar of many things, geography and political borders included, I had a hard time believing that Ocean Dental in Enid, OK was anywhere near an ocean.

My suspicions were confirmed when my advanced research showed, indisputably, that Enid, OK is, indeed, nowhere near an actual ocean.

But that is not the only lie that Ocean Dental spews at us like the water in one of those little annoying rinsing tools that the dentist uses to waterboard your teeth as if your teeth were some kind of little terrorists planning their next attack on food items and pen caps. TELL ME YOUR PLANS, BICUSPID. I KNOW YOU AND THE INCISORS ARE UP TO SOMETHING.

But I digress. The bigger lie that Ocean Dental is trying to get us to swallow is that this is just your average Spanish-speaking, medicaid-accepting dental practice in sleepy Enid, OK. No secret history here. Pay no attention to the familiar placement of the windows and very specific angle of the roof. Are you catching on here? Are you smelling the pizza that I am cooking up, metaphorically? If you aren't, put down your jug of Sunny D and scroll up real fast to look at the title of the website that you are currently reading. That's right, friends, this place used to be a Pizza Hut.

I know, I know. You are wondering what kind of crazed dentist would perform root canals in corner booths and x-rays at the buffet? Well, I assume that this particular UTBAPH has been cleared of its original furnishings, but one can never be too sure. It is entirely possible that the hostess stand is the receptionist desk and that marble-mouthed clients are rinsing out their freshly poked and prodded mouths with Pepsi served in red translucent cups. If that seems crazy to you, remind yourself how far Oklahoma is from ANYTHING THAT CAN POSSIBLY BE CONSIDERED AN OCEAN!

Thanks to our dear friend Tyler, who submitted this UTBAPH via Twitter to our clever handle @UTBAPH, which I encourage you all to follow and share with your friends to fuel my campaign to take over the world, open a shit-ton of Pizza Huts, close them, watch new establishments move in, and then document those new uses. MUHAHAHAHAHA.

UPDATE: There was some dispute on the Twitters as to whether or not this establishment was ever a Pizza Hut (besides the fact that it looks exactly like an old Pizza Hut). One commenter, a 34 year resident of Enid, OK, claimed to have never remembered it being a Pizza Hut, but another commenter came through with the closest thing there is to definitive proof on the internet; a claim that he worked at this exact Pizza Hut in 1983. Not that  I ever doubted it.

Valley National Bank in West Orange, NJ

Oh, Valley National Bank. You sneaky little son of a Pizza Hut. You think you can plant some trees and make us all forget about your past? 

While there aren't many banks posted on this blog, I am often sent a link to an old Onion photo that pre-dates this blog by many years.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-can-tell-area-bank-used-to-be-a-pizza-hut,8899/

I am not even quite sure where the bank featured in the Onion photo is located (although, if it still exists, I would love to add it to the blog), but I know that the good people of East Orange can sympathize with it. But really, a bank in an old Pizza Hut is nothing to be ashamed of. It is probably a lateral move, if anything.

So stand proud, Valley National Bank. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides maybe the fact that you live in New Jersey.

Submitted by Steve, who probably also lives in New Jersey.

HUB Insurance in Kamloops, British Columbia

I can't quite figure out why there are mountains in the background of Kamloops, BC that look like the roofline of an old Pizza Hut, but who cares. That's awesome. 

There is no mistaking this HUB Insurance location (submitted by Mark) for anything other than a former Pizza Hut. A quick paint job on the roof (and I would be surprised if the old Pizza Hut sign wasn't underneath the big sign on the roof hump) is really all that was done to this one. I bet you even get some breadsticks with your term life insurance.

Olsens Funerals in Revesby, New South Wales, Australia

This gem in the land down under is, yes, a funeral home. The first to be posted on this site, if I am not mistaken, this place has undergone some serious renovations since the Pizza Hut closed in the early 90s. Still, I bet the first few funerals held there had to have a few extra bouquets of flowers delivered to make sure that the pepperoni smell didn't come on "too strong for the mourners."

I hear that the old joke at this place is that they kept the ovens. Of course, they did not, and that is very insensitive of a joke to be telling during a eulogy, or so I was told by a very angry funeral director.

Thanks to James for passing this along. 

Community Family Practice in Duquesne, PA

There is so much to love about this place. A true place of healing and wonderment. A place seriously centered around making you feel better, helping you fine tune your body and keep it running long enough that you can enjoy your life to the fullest. But then, the Pizza Hut closed and some crappy family practice moved in. Sorry about that.I have to point out that, while I understand that this is a doctor's office, there is an inordinate amount of handicapped parking here. God forbid any of us able-bodied-but-lazy people need to get to this place. We have to park in the free lot up at Kennywood and ski lift our fat asses down the hill. (That's an inside joke for you locals.)Our friend Adam submitted this one, and says that he used to Book It! "like crazy" at this Pizza Hut. Book It!, for those who don't recall, was Pizza Hut's way of saying, "Oh, you read a book? Cool. Here is some shitty pizza! Bet you won't read books anymore!"

Huntington Learning Center in Orchard Park, NY

Why can't they just deliver my homework fully completed in 30 minutes or less?