The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Did Not Used to Be a Pizza Hut

The Tonight Show, in all of its incarnations, wheelings, dealings, and disgruntled former ginger hosts, was never a Pizza Hut.

So why is it on this blog? That is the question that I had, when, a few days ago, I noticed some traffic on the site coming from NBC/Universal HQ.

Things got even stranger when, out of the blue, an email hit my inbox asking me for a few photos of UTBAPHs that could be used on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

Now, had this been Jimmy Kimmel, I might have slid the email into my "Wasn't that the guy from the Man Show?" folder and that would have been that.

But this was no Jimmy Kimmel. This was the real deal. The actual Jimmy Fallon's producer's underling's intern's assistant's helper was emailing ME!

So I did what any self-respecting blogger would do. I cleared off the rest of my calendar (there were some Pringles crumbs on it from dinner the night before) and got in my car. There were UTBAPHs to be photographed.

"Why not just use the photos that are on your website already?" you might ask. I mean, the assumption is that they only contacted me in the first place because, in case you didn't notice, I have the world's largest collection of photos of places that used to be Pizza Huts.

It has something to do with rights and lawyers and Google suing the pants off of Jimmy Fallon if he uses Street View screen shots. Fortunately, I am allowed to use these images on my blog because of a little provision of the law called "Fair Use," which, translated from weird legalese mumbo-jumbo, means that nobody actually looks at this blog and I can do whatever the hell I want on it, as long as it keeps me from acting out in real life. Or something. My therapist is not exactly a legal expert.

So here I was, on a road trip photographing UTBAPHs, like some kind of hybrid between a Hunter S. Thompson novel and a Choose Your Own Adventure book where you made all of the worst possible choices. "Ooooh, I will sit in my basement and start a blog!" *turns page* "Awww, now I am fat and unlovable!"

Anyway, I got the photos, sent them off to Jimmy and took a well-deserved nap.

Next thing I knew, the one and only Matt Farley, of Motern Media, was pounding away on a Yamaha singing one of the best songs he has ever written, with my UTBAPH photos showing in the background all the while. And then the Roots joined in going into the commercial break. And then I fell over and died.

Matt, if you are not already aware, is the world's most prolific songwriter. That is not hyperbole. Matt has written and recorded somewhere in the neighborhood of 18,000 songs, under a slew of different band names, each with their own style and back-story. The whole thing, despite being perhaps a little bit insane (this coming from a guy obsessed with former Pizza Huts) is really incredible. 

I got a few tweets and emails claiming that Jimmy Fallon and/or Matt had ripped me off. Au contraire. The blog had inspired the song a few years back, and Jimmy came across the song on Spotify and fell in love with it.

So that is how that happened. I am immensely proud to have, in my own way from my own little corner of the internet, been involved with the whole thing.

Now go do your civic duty and listen to every Motern Media song on Spotify or iTunes!

500! And a Call to Action...

WE DID IT!

Ever since I was a little kid, long before the internet as we know it even existed, I dreamt of creating a single-focus blog cataloging the current uses of former Pizza Huts. Call it a life's mission. Call it a waste of time. Call it a bald-faced lie that couldn't possibly be true. No matter what you call it, how much you doubt it, or how certain you are that even just reading this post is a complete waste of your time that could be spent doing something important like running the country (Mr. President... I appreciate your support of this blog but get back to work) or re-stocking the shelves of your family business that is, most likely, current situated in an old Pizza Hut, you must admit that this is the longest, most rambling sentence that you have ever read.

I can't even count the digressions in that last paragraph, but I digress.

The important thing is that we reached an unbelievable milestone today; one that would surely make my ancestors proud after at least 4 hours of explanation of the following topics:

- Pizza
- Franchising
- Food delivery
- The internet
- Tony Danza (but I digress)
- Blogging
- Podcasts
- Fox News
- Digital photography
- Google Maps
- Google Street View
- Not having to spend all of your time trying to find food to stay alive

Our work is not done. Nay, there is much left undone in this realm. Firstly, there are still 4 states that do not have UTBAPHs on the map. This is astounding to me, but logical when you consider that 3 of the 4 worst states are on this list:

- Wyoming
- Idaho
- North Dakota
- Delaware

So I am calling on you residents and visitors of these terrible states to get off your asses and, well, actually, sit back down in front of your computer and find me some UTBAPHs on the good old Google Street View.

Secondly, I am working on getting pictures of the UTBAPHs on the map, but many are still lacking. Many of you submitted locations with images that you might not yet see on the site. I am working on adding these, but I am always happy to add even more images to the map view when they are available. I always prefer images taken from devices other than robotic cars, but Google Street View works well in a pinch. So hop into your Toyota Tercel (or whatever it is you are driving these days) and grab me some photos!

Lastly, I want to thank each and every one of you for not having a job, or, in some cases, having a job that you are sure to lose by reading stupid blogs all day. You make me proud.

Best Catalog of Changing Landscapes

In an oddly specific category, this very blog has been named the unanimous winner of the prestigious "Best Catalog of Changing Landscapes" award, as decided by President Obama, the joint chiefs of staff, and the editorial board of Pittsburgh Magazine.

What this means, besides, of course, a smaller font on my resume to keep my most notable accolades under the recommended 14 page maximum, is that if you pick up the print version of Pittsburgh Magazine this month and do that little thing where you lick your finger to turn the page like 78 or so times, you will find this:

For reference, here is the entire page:

I know what you are thinking, which is that next year I should start a mobile fashion truck in an effort to get a giant photo into the magazine. Broke Little Rich Girl, I am coming after you!

But, full page photo or not, I am very pleased to have won this award and I am very thankful to live in a time when a blog can literally change the world into a dramatically better place which is a lot like the world that existed before the blog except with a handful of friends and family having something to talk about whenever I see them at social gatherings.

To see a list of all of the "Best of the Burgh 2014" winners, click here or pick up a print version for yourself (two, if you want to frame one).

The Beagle Brothers in Pittsburgh, PA Used to Be a Pizza Hut

What kind of blog doesn't have a theme song? A shitty one, that's what kind. Well, this ain't no shitty blog no more, because our good friends (and half decent people) the Beagle Brothers, based right here out of lovely Pittsburgh, PA (where UTBAPH is headquartered) have gone ahead and recorded a masterpiece that I would liken to Mr. Holland's Opus if Mr. Holland was completely awesome instead of being a big dumb boring sack of dust who hated his deaf son and his opus was an awesome song about a blog that went viral when the users of the internet apparently ran out of real things to look at online (90s movie references and run-on sentences are limited from this point forward in this post, I assure you).

So here, without much further ado, is the first of two versions. Note the cowbell.



And then, my personal favorite, featuring the Ladies Man, is the alternate version:



Since, apparently, the readers of UTBAPH know what to do to take things viral, I assume that these will both have (deservedly) a few million hits by tomorrow morning. And go check out the Beagle Brothers on Facebook and Twitter.

And, despite the post title, I should explain that the Beagle Brothers did not, in fact, used to be a Pizza Hut.

I think they were a Shoney's all-you-can-eat buffet.

99% Invisible

If you don't already listen to the 99% Invisible podcast, then prepare to spend the next month or so catching up on old episodes (as I did towards the end of last year). Ostensibly, it is a podcast about design and architecture, but, in practice, it is a podcast about everything. The producers of 99% Invisible could argue, and rightly so, that it is a podcast about everything because design plays a role in almost every aspect of our lives, but that is only part of it. What I think is that, in an attempt to create a podcast about the interesting elements of design, they came to realize that there is almost nothing around us that isn't interesting if you dig in closely enough to the details.

As an example, a certain blog that I happen to curate (and that you, in turn, happen to consume) was the topic of the latest installment of 99% Invisible. Now, I put this blog, in terms of educational value/cultural awareness/architectural enlightenment somewhere in between a dick joke and a fart joke. It is, lest we kid ourselves, not much more than photos of old Pizza Huts.

But the good people at 99% Invisible (namely, Sam Greenspan and Roman Mars), who put this episode together, bothered themselves with the details of former Pizza Huts in a way that yours truly had not considered to do. The history of the buildings, the socio-economic reasons for their rise and fall, the official stance of Pizza Hut's corporate offices on this phenomenon -- these are all the kinds of things that they found interesting about this topic. And they were kind enough to share their findings -- with those of us who are still laughing over the word "fart" -- for our own enlightenment.

I had the pleasure of working with local producer Margaret Krauss on this piece, who, herself, is all kinds of interesting and talented.

Please check out episode 103 of 99% Invisible. Give Sam and Roman a follow on Twitter, and Like their page on Facebook. Maybe even buy a "Read the Plaque" shirt from their site (you will need to listen to a few episodes to get that reference).

Then, after you done got your learn on, come back here and laugh at silly pictures of abandoned buildings.

And if you came to this site via 99% Invisible, welcome.

Yours in childish humor being turned into something educational by much smarter people,

-Mike

Foursquare!

For all of you Fouraquare users out there, you can now save the list of all of the UTBAPHs on the site (that are still open) to your Foursquare account to find out which ones are closest to you and check them off as you visit them.

Click here to view the list

If you don't use Foursquare, this is the perfect excuse to sign up. New UTBAPHs that get added to the site will be added to the list so that you can always stay up-to-date.

FoxNews.com Loves UTBAPH

Filed under "Hey, now my dad will finally see my blog" news,  FoxNews.com had the insight to do an article about UTBAPH and even link to it from the front page for a little while.

They even did a nice slideshow of some of the better posts from the site. Now that Huffington Post and FoxNews have each linked to this blog, I feel like we have covered all ends of the political spectrum, so now there is no excuse for anyone to not Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.